


The Copper Promise

by sincerely_v



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke Griffin - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Freedom gay, Soldier AU, Soul Mate AU, clexaloveweek, fluff on fluff, heart eyes, lexa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6418396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerely_v/pseuds/sincerely_v
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 1965, Clarke is a small town waitress and fatefully meets a traveling soldier. The private's fear of regret leads Clarke to orchestrate special moments, free from the reality of war. What starts off as a simple gesture turns into a day they could never forget. </p><p>This was written for a fluff on but in honor of Clexa love week I decided to repost it with an extra epilogue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_A woman sat in an old brown chair, looking out the foggy window. The sun had barely gotten up but the world was already alive outside. Birds swept from bush to bush. The trees careened around, tracing their branches against the wind. Even the grass sprang to life with the drops of morning dew falling down their green surface. This was the best part of the day for Clarke as she watched the day’s promise._

_A knock came to the door, throwing the white haired woman out of her trance. She turned slowly, impeded by the arthritis riddling her joints. A young lady in bright blue scrubs and wedged sneakers carried a tray with bland food, a bottle of not overly chilled water, and a cup of pills into the room._

_“Good Morning, Ms. Griffin,” the nurse gave her daily cheerful greeting._

_“Natalie,” the older woman responded. Not a greeting but also not a complete brush off. This was their usual routine. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the younger woman. In fact, she was more pleasant than the others, but it was hard to interact nicely when she felt like a prisoner within the too clean and pastel walls._

_“Are you going to sit there all day, again?” She asked, setting the food down on the small table, bringing over the cup of pills along with a bottle of water._

_“It’s been working for me so far,” Ms. Griffin chuckled at her own joke, reaching out for the cup. “No need to change.”  The hand outstretched to her had a new accessory on it. Without faltering, she skipped the cup and grabbed onto the girl’s wrist pulling it closer to her._

_“What is this?” She examined the beautiful circular diamonds lacing the length of the band, twisting the shining piece of silver metal._

_“My boyfriend proposed last night,” Natalie shared while Clarke continued to hold tight to her wrist and run her finger over the ring._

_“It’s beautiful.” This was the most sincere comment she had ever made to the girl since she had been there._

_Clarke gave a hearty laugh, when the proud girl stated, “Thank you…he’s the love of my life.”_

_“What?” Natali pulled back her hand.  Forcing the cup into wrinkled digits, as she tried to roll away her frustration and pain at Clarke’s reaction._

_Her eyes returned to the window. Unable to look at Natalie as she tried to make amends for her immediate reaction. Her words fumbling and lost, explaining, “You remind me of myself when I was your age. Young…vibrant,” Struggling most with the last two words. Just two simple words, “…in love.” She popped the pills back._

_“You’ve been in love.” The statement drawing blue eyes with crinkled lines of once laugher from the window. “ Oh, I never…” The girl gave a sarcastic grin and held her hand to her chest dramatically. She had never seen a ring on the woman’s hand nor had a spouse come to visit in the days she had been here._

_Shaking her head slightly, Clarke stated dreamily, “The kind of love they write books about.” Her eyes returned to looking back out the window. Lost in a vision that the nurse could never truly share. Natalie pulled over the only other chair in the room, legs scratching against the pristine floor, and sat down next to her._

_“Will you tell me about him? Please, Ms. Griffin.” The woman’s head snapped over to her. The fastest movement she had made in a week. A sly grin crept on her face as she picked her brain for a place to start._

_She gave the girl a genuine smile, something she reserved for only a few people. Then she gave the girl another rare privilege, “First of all, please call me Clarke.”_

_“Second, in my story he,” and she paused just for a moment, like this was one of her favorite lines, “...is a she.” This new information surprised the nurse, making her even more intrigued in the woman’s story. Clarke’s eyes froze towards the trees as though she could see her love there. “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on in my seventy years alive.”_

_There were several moments of silence. Clarke’s fingers coming up to brush over her lips gently. The silence was too much for Natalie. The young woman’s longing for romance in a time that shouldn’t have been made her plead lightly, “Please, Clarke.”_

_Clarke sat herself up in the chair and folded her hands into her lap. Her lip pulled back between her teeth. Chewing on the wrinkled pink skin, debating on the proper place to begin. Deciding if the beginning was ideal or maybe the middle._

_Unsure if Natalie was capable of an understanding the time and expectations of her era, she decided to just start at the beginning of her love story. “It all started in 1965… on a warm spring day. Life fresh from a bitter winter...”_

March 1st, 1965

The streets were empty as a young girl walked down the sidewalk. For an early day in March, it wasn’t cold. The only impeding factor to her journey was the wind that kicked up old dirty leaves and dust against her, blue, knee length dress dancing with the breeze.

She skipped along with a child like freedom, enjoying the way nature greeted her every morning. Grabbing the small key out of her hand bag, Clarke jiggled the small metal in the glass paned window to unlocked the door to the diner. She pulled it open against the strong cross wind and slid inside, the smell of fresh coffee already hitting her nose. Her father left before her every day just so there would be a warm reminder of his care for her each time she arrived.

He had owned and operated the small diner for over fifteen years, and he had only allowed her to start working there before and after school for the past two. Now as a senior in high school, earning money was important for her planned escape to the big cities.   

She called out, “Dad!”

Placing her school bag on the counter and grabbing one of the white aprons, she made her way around the counter. She followed the sound of his voice,  “In the back kid.” The small kitchen, warm from the already lit oven, is where she found him rolling out dough for biscuits.

His smooth movements, rhythmic and calculated. The dough plopped against the sheet with careful precision. She was almost hypnotized with the act, but awareness coming back as her eyes faltered, reminding her of the brown liquid awaiting her.

“Want me to open the register?” he nodded, although she guessed he probably didn’t actually hear what she said. Knowing any more words towards him would be unproductive, she went back to the front.

Clarke stopped short of the counter when she noticed a person standing in the middle of the entry way. Their back was pointing towards her and they seemed to be looking around for someone. Clarke recognized the army fatigues immediately. The muted forest green cloth pants neatly tucked into dark boots and the long sleeved shirt seemed pressed without a single wrinkle. From her angle, Clarke could not see their face because it was obscured by a private’s cap. Clarke stayed there watching a moment longer before she recalled her job was to interact with customers.

“Can I help you?”

The soldier abruptly turned, stunning Clarke. It was a girl, a woman more appropriately, but still a female in soldier’s attire. Clearly she wasn’t the only one startled; the woman’s shoulders straightening quickly to attention, but not making any sudden movements. Each taking the other in. Looking for remnants of prior connection that neither found.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” the soldier greeted her. Removing her cap, she asked, “Is your establishment open?” The tough exterior betrayed by the soft edge of her voice. Her words left a flush of pink to tint the young blonde’s cheeks.

“It’s not my establishment, but yes.” Glancing around, Clarke realized that while they were indeed open, there was at present no food available or in process of being made besides biscuits. With a slight bite to her lip first, then added, “Although, all we have right now is coffee ready.” She reached over and grabbed a dense ceramic cup and poured the scalding liquid. She placed the cup on the counter a few paces in front of the woman, realization hitting her that the soldier had yet to ask for coffee, and she was being rather assumptive.

With a slight bow of the head, the woman stated, “That is all I was requiring anyways, thank you.” She took rigid steps forward and grabbed the cup with one hand. The other hand ruffling through a pocket that she retrieved some change and setting it in the cup’s former place.

Instead of sitting at an open chair at the counter, she moved towards the opposite side of the diner where there was a secluded booth.  It was clear further interaction was unneeded, so Clarke sat on a stool by the register and began counting the small bill and change drawer. However, she repeatedly glanced over at the mysterious soldier.

The woman opened her leather satchel and removed a single slip of paper and a pen. As Clarke counted out the five dollar bills from muscle memory, she watched the woman undo the tie of her hair. Beautiful brown curls released to cascade over her shoulders to her lower back. Watching the soldier took second place though to the morning regulars that began filtering in with warm familiar greetings that the small town promised.

The early crowd moved in and out for the next two hours, but the brunette never left her corner. Clarke kept an eye on her throughout her early shift though, bringing the pot over to refill the endlessly drained cup every so often. She didn’t say a word, even though a few times she wanted to pick up the cup to check it for a leak. The clock ticked quickly, and her two hours faded in a manner of minutes. When Clarke returned from getting her school bag from the back, there was only an empty cup sitting there. She resolved that she would never see the writing soldier again.

The empty feeling of disappointment was short lived though, when the next day they had the same exchange again. The soldier once again only taking a coffee and retreating to the far away booth. The same actions. Two hours of writing and draining her coffee.

Four days straight. A silent exchange, causing Clarke’s interest to move from curiosity to complete intrigue.

On Friday morning, she decided to be bold. She grabbed a coffee pot and sauntered over to the corner, nodding at the regulars. Reaching her destination, she began pouring hot liquid into the empty cup, careful not to overflow it while she talked herself up in her head.

“What are you writing?” She finally blurted out. It was innocent but the brown haired girl quickly placed the menu on top of her papers. Clarke immediately retracted.

“I’m sorry. I’ve seen you here the last few days and I was just trying to make conversation.” The woman’s eyes did not move from a fixed point across the booth. Defeated, Clarke spun with the coffee pot still in her hand, the dark substance splashing in the glass pot, and made her way back to the counter. She peered over her shoulder and saw the girl cautiously unhide the paper and begin to scribble again. Her mission was not for nothing as she was able to glance at the patch across _her_ soldier’s chest, indicating her last name was Woods. Mind glazed over the fact that she had seemed to claim this woman as her own.

Of course with an army base a few miles away, Clarke had seen many army men pass through the metal diner doors, but never one so interesting as this. Her soldier was engaging just to watch. The way her pen hovered above the page she had been working on for a week, before it grazed over the surface threatening to make a mark on the clean paper but every time it looked as if it would make contact, she quickly pulled away. She did this dance several times until finally she would set the pen down and take a long drink of her coffee. Clarke had watched her do this every day for a week. In the end, she would just sit there pensively, a private’s cap sitting to the side, until she seemed to give up; placing the paper in her bag and leaving.

Clarke desperately wanted to go over there again.  She looked back at the white clock sitting on the far wall. It was twenty till and even if she did get the girl to talk, she would be cut off by her need to get to school. She looked between the clock and the brunette until her head started to spin.

An idea popped in her head and she quickly ran to the drawer and grabbed a penny. “Heads, I force her to talk to me. Tails, I go to school and forget everything about her.”

She flipped the coin in the air, her destiny hanging in the balance as gravity pulled it down, landing on the linoleum counter with a clink. It didn’t just land though. No, it bounced in the air, but Clarke’s patience ended and she slammed it down with her palm. Covering her fate.

Taking a deep breath, she peeled her fingers back revealing the side profile of President Lincoln.  With fate’s approval, she ripped off her apron and slid the penny into the front breast pocket of her striped blue button up. She strutted over to the far booth and confidentially sat down, once again startling the woman.

“I’m Clarke.” She said abruptly, reaching out a hand. She felt the blood rising to her cheeks as the silence became thicker. Her hand wavering slightly in the air as brown eyes scanned over it like they didn’t know how to perform this formal greeting. Finally, her hand was accepted by cold digits that felt like they had been emerged in a bath of ice.

“Private First Class Lexa Woods.”

Clarke’s mouth raced against her brain as she blurted out, “But you’re a girl.” This elicited a smile. Something Clarke hadn’t sure this stoic face could do.

“You are very perceptive, Ms. Clarke.” She retorted, returning her focus to the worn pages before her. Scrawling, careful script spread over the pages.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t think girls could be soldiers.”

“They can’t” Her eyes didn’t leave the piece of paper she had been slaving over for a week. Clarke was confused, but stayed still. “I am a very special exception.” Her tone indicated that the conversation was over but Clarke was too stubborn to let it go.

“How?” She continued to question.

“My father is a Lieutenant General.”

“That’s it?” The blonde began twirling her braided pig tails, bracing herself for when she crossed a line.

“Why do you care?” She folded the piece of paper and carefully set the pen on top, giving Clarke her full attention. This was the first time Clarke got a good look at her face. She was thrown off for a second at how piercing her pupils were becoming. Even in the daylight, the black orbs completely overtook the depths of her eyes. Clarke could even see her own reflection causing her to become more flustered. “I don’t know.” She finally stuttered out. “I just do.” It was an honest statement. The need to know about this girl was completely overriding her sense of social morays.

Lexa evaluated the younger girl quickly. She was calculating whether or not giving the blonde any of her time would be productive. It was a side effect of being raised in the military, everything was given worth. She glanced down at her watch and knew a few minutes of her time to a clearly engaging school girl wouldn’t hurt her but that opened the door for more questions. She looked up at the ceiling momentarily, trying to control her annoyance because the girl was obviously innocent. 

Clearing her throat, she began. “I am my father’s only child and all he ever wanted was a boy to carry on the family legacy of eight generations of US soldiers. His dream was to fight alongside his child as he had done with his father before him. Regardless of my gender, he wanted me to be a soldier. When the United States government told him no, he refused to accept it.  He ranks high enough to influence a lot of people…They didn’t think a girl could be as good as the guys but I proved them wrong. I had been preparing to be a soldier my entire life.” The last part dripped with exhaustion. “Three months into basic training, I broke almost every record they had. They couldn’t tell my father no. So, yes I am a bonifide United States soldier.” She drank the last of her coffee and set it down harder than necessary.

“Have I answered your question sufficiently?” Her tone settled back to a courteous level but Clarke didn’t know when to stop. “What are you writing?” Lexa had a feeling this girl was not a one and done kind of character.

“It’s a list.” Lexa’s hand reached for her cap and she twisted it in her hands, eyes roaming for an escape.

“A list of what?”

“A list of all the things that I am supposed to be dying for when I leave in two days.” She grabbed the piece of paper and her satchel and made a break for the nearest exit. She was quick and Clarke barely had time to catch up to her.

“Lexa!”  The brunette’s stopped in her tracks. She had never heard her name said with such tenderness or concern. It didn’t even feel like her name. The letters and sounds were the same but its meaning was different. It set every nerve in her body on edge. A hand grasped at her shoulder and turned her in the opposite direction of her goal destination.

“You don’t say something like that and leave.” Clarke said, partly out of breath. “Why would you say something like that at all?”

“Clarke you don’t know me. I am a soldier…That is all I am. I was born a soldier, I was raised a soldier, and I will die a soldier. That is my fate.” She put on her cap and placed the leather band of her satchel around her shoulder, ready to run again.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lexa knew she should say no. Her father raised her better than to let emotions get in the way of duty. But there was something safe about the blonde. She was a person who wasn’t biased by anything Lexa had ever done or failed to do. She didn’t care about her family history or even her fears about the future. In front of her stood unbiased ears that she would never have to see again, like telling your secrets to a stone you can throw in a well.

“Yes.” The words weren’t confident but they were enough for Clarke to lead her to a bench across the street where the park met the city. It was still early morning so everyone was at work or headed to school. The trees hung over the chosen wooden bench, offering them seclusion from the sun. They sat there for several minutes in silence, Clarke not wanting to force her to say anything. Lexa continued to play with the edges of her bag, working up the courage to admit the truths that kept her up at night.

“I love days like this...When nature feels so in tune with itself, there is so much promise.” She sighed heavily. “…I used to be the kind of person who loved days like this.” 

“Tell me about that person, then.” Clarke listened intently as Lexa told her about her life. She felt every emotion as she journeyed through a roller coaster of stories and memories. She laughed as Lexa animatedly told the story about escaping the base when she was ten using blankets tied together outside of a window. From her mouth it sounded like a great Hollywood movie until it ended with her falling and breaking her arm instead.

“My mother put bars on my windows for years.” She laughed. “They called me Jail Bird till I was fifteen.”

The stories that were funny made Clarke laugh deep into her stomach, nearly snorting at some of the antics. From fishing with shoe laces to stealing a military issued car, the girl seemed fearless. Those stories were short lived though as Lexa began talking about getting older. The constant expectation of her father was overwhelming. She nearly quit the military but after her mother’s death, there was nothing else to lean on. That was just the tip of her grief. She made herself believe that being a soldier was all she wanted. Then she realized the cost. The last years were littered with broken friends and heroes. Men she had spent her whole life looking up to were the first deployed to Vietnam and the last to come home-some of them only in a pine box. Clarke put her hand over Lexa’s, trying to offer some reassurance. The story finally came to the present. She was to be leave for Vietnam in two days. A reality she knew would come to pass but hadn’t quite accepted yet.

“When you get your letter of deployment, the older guys who have already done a few tours always give you some parting advice. They tell you the things to bring, how to trade food for the stuff you like, where to keep your letters so they don’t get drenched…They all have different advice but the one thing they all say is to make a list…A list of all the things that make the war worth it.” She dug into her bag and took out the familiar paper that had become slightly crumpled.

“I’ve been working on mine all week but all I have is a title.”   

“Why?” Clarke desperately wanted to look at it but she kept her boundaries.

“The other guys they have their wives and children…a Yankees game…even the President.” She clenched the paper tighter. “I don’t have that. I don’t know what I’m fighting for…” A slow breath. “…dying for.”

“Don’t think about what you’re dying for…” Clarke’s voice dropped. “…Think about what you’ll do when it’s over.”

“But I don’t know what I’d do.” For the first time in the last hour, the strong women looked weak, vulnerable. Clarke thought the wind that was passing by would knock her over if her bones didn’t hold her in place. 

“Well, what do you want?” They were close now, knees touching-a seemingly closed vacuum in the open world. Moments passed before the brunette seemed to come alive. “I want to wake up before the sun and fish at Parker’s Lake until I get kicked out by the park ranger.” A smile played at the edge of her lips. “I want to be the only person in a movie theatre so I can yell and boo and laugh as loud as I want.” Her voice continued to gain back its thick life. “I want to order every ice cream flavor at Jaha’s and then roll down a grass hill, trying not to puke.”

“Everything you’re saying right now, write that down. Those are the things you’re fighting for.” Lexa put her bag on her lap and put the piece of paper down. She frantically began writing. Clarke stayed silent, enjoying the quiet moment to study the soldier. Everything about her was subtly beautiful.  It was the kind of beauty that makes you look twice because you couldn’t possibly take it all in with a single glance. Her hair seemed perpetually tied behind her but there were always traces of soft, brown curls that escaped the military band. Clarke tried to memorize every part of her from the way her jaw line sharply curved under her thin lips to the blood vessels in her hands that flared up as she moved her hand across the page. As she moved her head around, Clarke couldn’t stop starring at her eyes as they glimmered like a forest of green and brown in the light. Her heart clinched a bit as the eyes met hers and their owner smiled brightly, like a child at a carnival. Clarke didn’t even have to make herself return the gesture, her body reacted and she was beaming. Lexa returned to her list and after several minutes, she looked down at the paper satisfied.

“Can I read it?” Clarke questioned. Lexa held tighter to the paper, knuckles whitening.

“It’s ridiculous. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Can I try?” Clarke scooted impossibly closer. Without breaking eye contact, she moved her hand down and held the surface of cold, white hands until they relaxed.

“Private!” A loud voice broke the reservoir in which they had been living the past hours. Lexa stood at full attention, leather falling to the ground. Her hands were clenched to her sides before the metal pen hit the ground.

“Sir.” She responded, her voice carrying a hoarse tone. A man dressed in dark, army green walked aggressively towards them kicking up the white gravel as he moved. His nonexistent hair was covered by a similar cap that was now lying at their feet. Even from yards away, she could make out a worn crease in his forehead and a disapproving frown from what was probably decades of displeasure. Not knowing how to react, Clarke also stood. She folded her hands behind her back and kept her eyes low.

“Why aren’t you at base, soldier?” He was even worse up-close, she thought. His stereotypical, testosterone filled voice made her cringe but the extra drips of water that escaped his lips into her direction made him wholly intolerable. 

“I still have two days of leave, sir.” The wind decided to pick up at this moment, blowing the papers still sitting on the bench into the air. One flew up and rolled past their shoulders directly into his face. Clarke stifled a laugh and quickly glanced to Lexa who had impressively not moved a muscle. He tore the page off his face and glanced it over.

“What is this?” His face relaxed slightly, anger shifting to conclusion. He didn’t wait before asking again, “Lexa, answer me.” Clarke’s eyes snapped up from the ground at the use of the girl’s first name. She scanned the man again, landing on the black and gold pin that sat above his heart. _Woods_ , it read.

“It’s my list, sir.”

“This is not the list of a soldier…” He stated coldly. “…this is a collection of girlish daydreams.” He shook his hand in front of her face.

“Dad.” It came out as a whisper before she stopped herself completely.

“This was my idea, I’m sorry Mr. W-.”

“It is Lieutenant General Woods.” He didn’t even bother addressing her directly, continuing to focus his attention solely on Lexa.

“When I was deployed, do you know what I had on my list?” Of course she knew, he told her every chance he got.

“The United States of America.” Unlike the men in his unit, he didn’t even put down his family. The most important thing to him was country and then if there was energy left, maybe his daughter.

“Your duty is to the people of this country… to protect them. That is all you need to fight for.” He crumpled the piece of paper and let it fall at her feet. “Return to base, soldier.” He turned towards Clarke and mustered a curt nod and left in a whirlwind of arrogance and Brute aftershave. Clarke had to clinch her hand tightly to prevent herself from saying something she would regret. The “asshole” sat on the tip of her tongue but she held it in for the girl beside her who looked like she was either going to murder someone or cry. The sea of emotion on her face turned quickly from anger to acceptance. She had spent the morning breaking down Lexa’s walls and now she could see her close off again, brick by brick.

“Lexa.” Once again, the way she said the girl’s name was different. It affected the brunette unfairly, like it was the password to the part of her that she had always locked away. A password she didn’t realize anyone else had. She was exhausted though. It wasn’t Clarke’s fault but the girl had given her a glimpse into a world she was never really going to get.

“I have to go.” She said abruptly, gathering her things.

“That’s it…you’re going to just leave?” She tried to stop the girl’s movements, grabbing her hat and pulling it away.

“Clarke what do you want from me?” The blonde didn’t know. She sat down on the hard bench, the broken wood pressing into her skin. “I like you…” She admitted, eyes immediately finding a pebble on the ground to stare at. “...I just want to know more about you.” The admission surprised the soldier but she understood exactly what the girl meant. “Clarke…” She put a finger under the girl’s chin, forcing her to look up at her. “I like you too…and I _want_ to know everything about you.” Her heart clenched, knowing what she had to say next. As she looked down at the blonde, a stray light broke through the trees lighting up her hopeful blue eyes. In another life, she would stay. She would talk for hours with the girl about her future and the excitement of not knowing what comes next. But this wasn’t another life and she knew what came next. In two days, she would leave her country for the last time in order to protect it as her father and his father before him and his father before him. Even the blue oceans below her could not save her from this fate. She breathed in the sweet air, hoping it would make her words hurt less.  “...but we don’t always get what we want.” Removing her cold finger, she knelt down and picked up the crumpled paper on the ground, the double meaning hitting Clarke hard. Still kneeling she tried to reassure her again, “Don’t worry yourself about me...I’m a dime a dozen...and soon I’ll just be a memory.”

“That’s not true.” The blonde put her head low, resisting tears that she didn’t understand. Lexa placed worn hands on her knees and leaned in close, their foreheads almost touching. She spoke soothingly, her voice mixing in with the calming sounds of the wind.  “Today, you might care about me but next week when they call out the numbers of soldiers killed you will not remember. You will not see a single face among the countless.” Clarke wanted to argue but words escaped her. “But thank you…for listening to me. You made a soldier’s pack a little lighter.” As she began to stand, Clarke looked up to her, grabbing the hand that had been resting on her knee.  Lexa used her free hand to brush a stray piece of blonde out of her face. She let fingers rest at the base of Clarke’s cold ears. She didn’t know why but she leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to the girl’s forehead. Wordlessly, she walked away, her boots falling in a soothing rhythm against the movement of the branches above her. She stopped momentarily by the metal trash can and looked down at the paper in her hand. Without much hesitation, she threw it away and continued her strong stride down the lane. She looked back, regret in her eyes as she placed the cap on her head. She nodded out of habit and disappeared across the street.

Clarke sat there stunned. Was her soldier right? Would she so quickly forget a face that seemed for a moment unforgettable? She stood up and walked down the same path Lexa was just passing. She looked through the trees at the town clock and saw she had already missed half of the day, something her parents wouldn’t be proud of. As she continued on, she stopped by the open trash can. The crumpled piece of paper was sitting on top, asking her to pick it up. She grabbed it and carefully unfolded the edges. The script looking up at her was beautiful and messy. Each curl of the letters flowed to the next but slanted in odd directions of the lineless page. She straightened the paper on her leg and held it up again taking in every word.

_What I’m Fighting For…_

_fishing at sunrise_

_a private movie_

_eating all of the ice cream at Jaha’s_

_rolling down hills until something breaks_

_doing something illegal and not getting caught_

_winning a prize at the carnival_

_traveling to beautiful places_

_star gazing_

_dancing at prom_

_kissing in the rain_

_falling in love_

 The first few things were adorable, like the wants of Lexa the child. As she kept reading, she started to understand the wants of Lexa the girl. Clarke could feel the sadness in the simple things she wanted. It wasn’t fair to her. Clarke began to get upset. She didn’t understand how Lexa could be so calm and accepting about having to put her own wants aside for the greater good of a people who would never know her name. She folded the paper into her pocket and began to run. Her feet carried her past the barber shop bustling with men talking about the war. Past the bakery where children naively picked out their snacks, unaware of the realities of the world around them. Past the diner where her father was just starting with the lunch crowd. She kept running, until she stood at the base of her front porch. The normally inviting white wood looked menacing as she breathily climbed them one by one. She opened the screen door and was hit by a rush of air conditioning. The hint of apples that always inundated the walls suddenly smelled sickening. She kept her pace though, running through the small hallway out the back door to where she kept her bike. The buses didn’t run this late so the only way she would be getting to school was via two wheeled transportation. The bike had been in storage all winter and she prayed it didn’t have a flat tire. She continued her break neck pace, hopping on the powder blue machine and peddling the white rimmed tires into the street. Her head was racing with thoughts that she couldn’t quite contain by herself. The only common cord between all of these random firings was Lexa.

Twenty minutes later, she skidded into the parking lot. The large clock face that was embedded into the red brick told her it was 12:15, just the start of the lunch hour. Throwing the bike away, she ran around the building towards the football field. Around the metal bleachers, she saw a group of familiar faces lounging in the sun, munching on brown bagged lunches.

“Princess, we thought you were sick.” The tallest boy, who was laying on his back eating an apple, noticed her first. The more perceptive girls could tell there was something wrong. Her face was red, her breathing labored and up to that point she hadn’t realized there were a few tears that had escaped her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke realized her oxygen supply needed to be replenished before she could speak. She took several deep breaths before muttering, “I need your help.”

____

Clarke didn’t sleep at all. She spent every minute of the last eighteen hours trying to pull off something she didn’t think would actually work. It was completely dark as she pulled up her friend’s truck to the side of the army base. The soldier working the post had his feet propped up on the guard’s desk, obviously nodding off. She turned off her headlights and pulled into the closest parking spot, praying that the noise of the engine wouldn’t impede her goal. She reached across the dash and grabbed the piece of paper that her friend had given her. Scrawled on it was the layout of the base and where to find a particular brunette. The base had lamp posts scattered everywhere which helped her vision but also increased her chances of getting caught. She found the bushes that were marked on the map and pushed them aside revealing a small piece of gate that had been cut away, most likely for sneaking soldiers. She squeezed through, her bag catching on the edges, nearly ripping.

The inside of the walls was like a miniature town. There were barracks all lined up on an asphalt road. In the middle, a flag pole was centered in a round about that also had the largest building on the premise. She ran along the side of the chain linked fence until she saw the building marked _E_. Looking out at the intersections, she saw the coast was clear. She sprinted until she was safely under the front porch roof. The door opened under a light push of her hand. There were six cots on either side of the room, each with a dresser in front and neatly arranged clothes. It didn’t take her long to find the bunk she was looking for. One step forward and the entire floor creaked. She held her breath. A room full of war ready soldiers against an intruder was probably not going to turn out well. Fortunately, not a person moved. Their lights snores covered up any outside intrusion. When she finally made it to the end of the room, she couldn’t help but smile at the sleeping figure below her. If she had a camera she would take a picture because she was pretty sure this is what they meant when they tried to define beauty in the dictionary. The brunette had her body curled to the side, an arm under her pillow, the other laying off the side of the bed. Clarke decided not to be subtle. She put a hand over her mouth and shook her shoulder. The girl immediately reacted. She took Clarke’s arm and flipped her down off the bed onto the floor, Lexa’s body now covering her completely, with a hand on the other side of her face and a fist raised.

“Clarke?” She said breathlessly, realization washing over her.

“Nice to see you too.” Clarke swallowed.

“How did you get in here?” She lowered her fist but she was still on top of the blonde.

“That’s not important.”

“That’s a federal crime.” Lexa corrected. She rolled off of her and stood up. She offered a hand down and the girl accepted.

“I need you to get dressed. We don’t have much time.” Lexa looked down at her watch showing that it was only five in the morning.

“It is the crack of dawn...not to mention one of the last days I will get to sleep in.” Her voice started to raise and she looked around making sure her bunk mates were not stirring. “...and I don’t even know you.” She said in a hushed voice.

“Please.” Even in the darkness, Lexa was hypnotized by Clarke’s blue eyes. It wasn’t fair.

“I can’t. Did you not hear anything I said yesterday?” Her question fell on deaf ears.

Clarke was losing her patience. “What do you have-” She lowered her voice. “What do you have to lose?”  The only response that came to Lexa’s mind was “sleep” but she knew it wasn’t going to be a good enough answer.

“Two hours and I have to be back.” She conceded, holding up her fingers.

“I can’t promise that.” Clarke muttered under her breath. Lexa went to grab a pair of her green pants but Clarke stopped her. “Do you not have normal clothes?” She realized it was a stupid question. “Here.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of red high waisters and a sleeveless yellow button up. Lexa looked at them like they were radioactive. “They are just clothes, put them on.” Clarke forced them into her hands and also pulled out a pair of worn laced shoes. Lexa pulled off her khaki sleep shirt, revealing cream skin tattered with scars and muscles. Clarke immediately turned her back but couldn’t resist looking a few times. The girl really was beautiful. Clarke always appreciated every gender. She knew it wasn’t something that most people would understand but she didn’t care. It wasn’t about what other people thought, she only cared about what she felt. Right now, she was feeling hot and it wasn’t the windowless barracks they were in. Lexa cleared her throat, indicating she was finished. Clarke held back a laugh at how uncomfortable the soldier looked dressed as just a girl. Her hair was slightly disheveled to one side and she went to pull it behind her head as she always did.

“Please don’t...it’s beautiful like that.” Lexa paused her hands. She had never been called beautiful-it was a foreign word to her ears. “May I?” Clarke stepped forward and took the rubber band out of her hand. She moved behind her and threaded some of the hair through her fingers. She tied it off and moved back to see her work. All she did was pull the front of her hair out of the girl’s face but the result was stunning. Her curls were still vibrant at her shoulders but she could also see her eyes perfectly. They smiled at each other as if there weren’t a dozen sleeping bodies around them.

“Ready?” Clarke broke the moment.

“For what?”

“The perfect day, of course.” She grabbed Lexa’s hand, slightly startling the girl. “Trust me.” Clarke pulled her through the barracks back the way she came in. Lexa was even more scared of getting caught, pushing her back as close to the fence as possible. Clarke never dropped her hand as they reached the old green chevy pick-up. Lexa looked at the car conspicuously. “Seriously, where are you taking me?” Clarke turned to face her, only the tips of their fingers still together.

“You are worse than a child.” She huffed.

“I’m a soldier...we live by being prepared.”

“You also live by rules, right?” Lexa knew she would regret it but she gave a confirming nod. “Perfect, then here are the rules of the day. One…” She put up her her pointer finger. “...today, you are not a soldier.”

“Wouldn’t that mean I don’t have to follow the ru-” Clarke cut her off with her second finger. “Two...stop questioning things. Wherever this day goes...just trust me.” She held up a final finger. “Three,  have fun.”

“I think I can acquiesce to that. Quick question though…” Clarke waited, expecting to be annoyed. “Can I see your license please?” The blonde furrowed her brows. “It’s in my pocket...somewhere.” She acted innocent.

“Ma’am as a soldier it is my job to protect the people of this great country.” She added a heavy southern drawl to her voice. “It wouldn’t be any fun if someone got hurt, today.” Clarke dangled the keys in the air in front of her face. “You literally just broke every rule in less than ten seconds.”

“I actually only broke two…” She used their intertwined hands to pull the blonde close enough to grab the keys but Clarke was ready. She held them out as far as she could. Lexa pulled her into her stomach as she reached around her waist, extending for the teasing metal. She decided to play dirty and tickled the girl lightly. Clarke curled into her, not prepared for that kind of attack. As soon as her arm fell, Lexa easily snatched the key chain and spun away from any retaliation.

“Where are we going?” She sang, walking around the truck towards the driver’s side. Clarke was not amused, folding her arms to her chest. She opened her door and slid into the fake leather, making a point to slam the door. Lexa put the key into the ignition, the beater humming to life. She put her arm on the back of Clarke’s head rest as she pulled out. Before she put it into drive, she smiled over at the girl. “Now, I broke all three.” She smiled.

“This is going to be the longest day of my life.” Clarke laughed, pointing her finger towards the east bound highway.  After several turns down roads she didn’t recognize, Lexa pulled off on a dirt path at Clarke’s direction. They reached a dead end where there were several other tire tracks. It was almost six and the trees were barely visible.

 Clarke hopped out of the car and grabbed two jackets, throwing one across the hood towards the obviously cold girl. “We have to walk from here.” She also pulled out a flashlight and another bag. They began walking through a cleared path. It started off flat but slowly they climbed higher until they reached a clearing. There was a small lake, no more than a football field. The grass around it was almost to their ankles so it was easy to miss. As they walked, the dew licked their legs until they finally reached a spot that had been mowed down. There was a an eight foot dock that extended from the patch. It was hard to see anything still, but Lexa could make out a few items sitting at the end. The lake sat in between two mountain faces, trees cleared enough to leave a perfect hole into the horizon.

“Clarke.” It was the first words she had spoken since they started walking. It wasn’t a question or a beckoning. It was verbal disbelief. She walked out onto the dock and bent down to the items lying at the end. There were two sticks with several white shoe strings put together and tied to their ends. A barely passable hook was stapled to the plastic ends of the laces. In a brown container, there were pieces of bread and lures. She looked back to Clarke standing at the dock’s edge, a thermos and two cups now in her hand. “What is this?” She held up one of the sticks. Clarke motioned Lexa to look behind her. She hadn’t realized the light that had started to illuminate the world. She turned and saw the sun creep up through the horizon. Her body froze, eyes glazing over. She didn’t hear the footsteps walking closer to her and settling behind the lawn chair beside her.

“It’s what you wanted.” Clarke reached out a cup of coffee and Lexa takes it, eyes not leaving the slow sunrise in the distance. She sits in the first chair, scavenging for the food she had packed. “Grab the rods, I’ll organize breakfast.” Lexa wordlessly did as she was told. She placed some bread on each line and brought them over to the chairs. Sitting down, she traded a makeshift fishing rod for a biscuit with jelly. Light poured into the clearing revealing their surroundings. The large trees towered in the distance over fields of freshly grown prairie grass and early season flowers. Even with the world of color around her, Lexa’s eyes were drawn to something entirely more beautiful. The blonde was adorable as she tried to balance a coffee mug, food, and a stick she probably didn’t know how to use. Even the sunrise couldn’t compare to the smile she gave the brunette as she finally managed to hold everything. In between bites of warm, buttery food, Lexa learned more about Clarke. Lexa listened intently as the girl outlined her entire life from growing up in the diner to wanting to escape to New York for art school. She talked until their coffee was colder than the water. At this point, Lexa set down the cup and grabbed the rods in front of her.

“Do you even know how to fish?” She teased, never hearing a fishing story in Clarke’s hour monologue.

“I understand the basic principle. I fling this into that and wait.”

“Well, you just turned an art form into a single sentence...but the real secret is to disrupt the water as little as possible.” Lexa showed her, expertly flicking her wrist and landing her hook a few feet off the dock with barely a splash. She set the rod down on the end and placed her foot on top.

“You aren’t going to hold it?” Lexa leaned back in her chair, sipping on the coffee. “If you’re as good as me, you don’t have to.” She didn’t have to look at the girl to know she was getting a full eye roll.

“I’m going to throw this loaf of bread in there and we can see how good you are when the whole pond is disrupted.” She held her arm up threatening.

“You wouldn’t.” Clarke raised an eyebrow, loving how easily they were able to banter back and forth. She set her coffee cup down and stood up, still holding the whole box of bread in the air. Lexa put her hand out calmingly. “Let’s not go crazy here. Put...the...box...down.” She floated in her chair not completely standing, waiting for the next move.

“Or what?” Clarke took another step back but wasn’t looking behind her. Her foot caught in a break in the wood and she started to fall backwards. As she tumbled head long into the water, Lexa grabbed her hand. She pulled her quickly back towards her, causing them to fall together in a mess of limbs and bread. Lexa clenched her eyes, pain radiating from the back of her head. She blinked her eyes open into a nest of blonde. The woman was shaking and there was a barely understandable noise coming from her.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly, thinking the girl was crying. Clarke flipped her head up, revealing the shaking was her uncontrollable laughter. Lexa joined in, picking a few stray pieces of bread out of Clarke’s hair. They stared at each other, laughs slowly fading into soft smiles. Lexa wanted to reach up and do something she knew she shouldn’t. Before she could act on impulse, the rod that she had stuck under the chair began moving. They both looked over at it. There was no way. Clarke raced over on her knees and grabbed the rod, quickly followed by Lexa.

“Pull it in!” She shouted.

“Not so fast, you don’t want it to break off.” Lexa wrapped the shoe strings around her hand as she slowly pulled the heavy object on the end of the line in.

“This is my first catch.” Clarke said in disbelief.

“Technically, it’s my fish.” She received a punch to the shoulder for that. She was able to get the line all the way to the edge where they could see the shiny scales of a small brown fish. In one swift motion, Lexa pulled the little guy out of the water. The lake already smelled of moss and grass but the fresh fish added a layer of ammonia to the air. Lexa didn’t let him dangle for long, placing her hand around his flailing body, calming him. She took the uncomfortable hook out of his mouth and held him out to Clarke.

“Want to hold him?”

“No thanks. This is close enough.” She even took a step back, more carefully this time.

“Come on, it’s your first  fish. There is a rite of passage we have to do.” Lexa adjusted her grip, trying to lose the slimy fella.

“Fine, what?”

“Close your eyes.” Clarke looked at her incredulously. “Trust me.” Clarke acquiesced closing her eyes. She waited patiently hoping that whatever was going to happen would involve lips. She wasn’t entirely wrong as she felt slimy rubber graze her cheek.

“Oh my God!” She shouted wiping her face as quickly as possible. Lexa laughed as she lowered the kiss thief into the water.

“That’s it...we are done. The day is over.” She used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe her face again.

“There’s more?” Lexa asked surprised.

“Yes Private, there’s more.” Clarke knew she would finish the day out just because of the look on her soldier’s face. It is the look a stranger gives when someone offers to help them push their car out of the middle of the street or an elderly woman when someone helps carry their groceries. It’s the inexplicable wonder that comes when another person cares about you.

“In fact…” Clarke looked down at her father’s watch that she borrowed. “...We need to get going.” The sun blinding them as they walked back to the truck. Lexa didn’t dare question what they were going to do next. No one had ever done something like this for her, she didn’t know what the proper response would be. “Thank you” certainly wouldn’t be sufficient.

“Are you going to let me drive?” Clarke pleaded, standing at the driver’s door.

“Sure thing, fish kisser.” She threw the keys over the hood hitting Clarke in the chest.

“Rude.” They both got into the car and Clarke pulled out quickly, moving on to their next destination. Saturday morning meant that the streets were bare and not even the buses were running. She took a turn pretty aggressively, and Lexa reached up to the handle by her head, thinking that she might not make it to Vietnam to die. They careened into the empty cinemax parking lot and Lexa had never appreciated solid ground more in her life.

She followed Clarke to the front entrance that should have been locked on saturday morning. They walked up the concrete steps and Clarke pulled on the large copper handle, opening the door. “They are open this early?” Lexa questioned. Clarke shook her head. “Rule number two” she scolded, taking her hand and leading them through the poorly lit maroon hallways down to one of the smaller theaters. Lexa could smell popcorn already and was instantly more excited. The lights were all dimmed low so they could barely see where they were walking, the dark green carpet not helping. They finally reached the farthest wooden door. Instead of opening it, Clarke knocked.

A man in a red suit opened it, ushering them in. He had a felt hat on his head, the black band holding it on sitting uncomfortably under his chin. “This way ladies.” He said, moving them to the red, front row seats. As they sat, he handed them each a bag of fresh popcorn and a glass Coke.

“A private movie.” Lexa commented, making sure it sounded like a statement and not a question.  “Just wait.” Clarke grabbed the top of her knee and squeezed. The maroon and gold curtains peeled aside, revealing the large black screen. The shaking grey countdown appeared and when the number go to one, colors exploded on the screen. A field of green with blue and white mountains in the background infiltrated their vision until it focused on a  woman as she strutted across in a pale blue dress. It didn’t take long for Lexa to realize what this was. “This is the Sound of Music!” Clarke nodded cockily.

“This isn’t supposed to be out for another month.” She stared at the screen in disbelief. “I didn’t think I would ever get to see it.”

“Now you do,” she answered softly.

The entry to the movie with rolling hills. They watched the first thirty minutes like normal movie goers. The hushed crowd keeping them quiet, hesitant to even laugh too loud. With time though, they became comfortable with the idea that no one was going to yell at them. Confident enough that they started making comments. Lexa pointed out all of the inaccuracies of the Nazi military uniforms while Clarke said the boy’s clothes looked ridiculous.

“Why are you speaking English?” Lexa threw some popcorn at the screen. “You are in Germany!” Clarke egged it on throwing her own popcorn. “And why do all you kids know a three part harmony when you say you’ve never had a music lesson!” These outbursts were more frequent, making the whole experience the best movie they’d ever been too.

 As the light air of the first half became heavier, Clarke put her hand on the armrest, clenching it to prevent herself from crying. Lexa moved her arm there as well, wanting to be as close as possible without invading the other girl’s space.

At a particularly jarring scene, Clarke jumped moving her entire arm over the invisible line between them. When she settled herself again, her hand landed on the back of Lexa’s. Neither moved to correct their position so Lexa breathed in deeply, unable to focus on what was going on the screen anymore. She couldn’t tell what was colder the drink sitting between her legs or the hand that was now prominently on her own. After arguing with the devil and angel on her shoulders, she flipped her hand over swiftly, allowing Clarke’s digits to rest easily within the crevices of her own hand. The blonde’s response was immediate, curling her fingers around warm knuckles. Lexa’s heart beat faster as she watched the smile spreads across Clarke’s face from the corner of her eye. Their shared heat warming each to the point that Lexa swore she melted the ice in the paper cup.

Lexa, as hard as she tried, couldn’t keep her attention on the musical family she was so eager to see. The rest of the movie was lost to stolen glances while her thumb gently grazed across the smooth skin covering the back of Clarke’s pale hand.

As the credits roll, Clarke asked if she liked it. The walkway lights came on, brighter than expected. With a nod of her head, she claimed  it may be the best movie she ever saw, even though, she watched most of the movie in the reflection of Clarke’s eyes, .

As they exited the theatre, they were blinded by the sun that beat down against the pavement. Even without looking at her watch, Lexa could tell it was about noon based on the sun’s position. Perks of being a soldier, she thought. She didn’t want to ruin the moment with words but for once she felt a little normal. Like she didn’t grow up on the edge of destruction and violence. The last six hours were the farthest she had ever been from being a soldier in her life.

The silence could only last so long though. The need for direction was eminent. Lexa attemped to break the silence, as she said, “Where to-” but she stopped herself as Clarke held up two fingers, indicating she broke the rules yet again. “Sorry.” Lexa put her hands up.

The car ride was at least smoother the second time around. Clarke had less gusto with her turns and actually signalled three out of the six opportunities. She pulled the truck between two building into the alley way. As they opened the door, the rotting fruit smell instantly hit them.

“This is nice.” Lexa teased. “A dumpster date is original.” She realized she had used the word _date_ to late.

“A date?” Clarke questioned. “Who said this was a date?” Lexa became flustered into silence. She regretted that her hair wasn’t completely down because it could have potentially hidden the bright red colors painting her face. She shoved her hands in her pockets, still trying to retrieve a semblance of cool. She didn’t need to though. C

larke rubbed against her side, tracing her hand down Lexa’s forearm until she found the nervous hand hiding in the bright yellow pockets. She laced their fingers together, and dragged them out. “I like the idea of a date.” She whispered, still leaning in. Lexa leaned back, placing her head down on the shorter girl’s head briefly before she moved them out of the vicinity of the atrocious smells. They walked only a little while longer before Clarke stopped her. She pulled a black handkerchief out of her blue pants pocket and handed it over. “Put this on.”

Lexa grabbed it suspiciously and tied it over her eyes. As Clarke continued to drag her along, she tried to place herself within the town but couldn’t figure out where exactly they were. She heard a metal door creak open and she stepped onto something soft, like a plush carpet. The temperature around her also fell multiple degrees and she silently wished she had kept the jacket on. She lifted her head slightly trying to peek at her surroundings but Clarke poked her in the side, “Stop cheating.”

“That wasn’t one of the rules,” Lexa shot back. Clarke let her run into a table in retaliation. “Ow!” She rubbed her thigh briefly until she was dragged along again. The carpet at her feet turned hard and she figured they were in another room. They stopped moving and she felt something cold placed in her hand. She rolled it in her fingers and could tell it was metal. Her thumb ran along the line and she recognized the curves of a spoon. She felt the ghost of fingers in her hair and then bright lights flooded her senses. She blinked rapidly whiteness replaced by bright pinks and greens. The wall across from her was covered in obnoxious caricatures and she knew exactly where she was-Jaha’s Creamery.

Lexa looked down at the spoon in her hand and then up a few feet where there was a table full of small cups. Her mouth unconsciously watered as she looked over all of the colorful ice creams in front of her. Clarke jokingly waved a hand in front of her face, trying to bring her back to reality. “No way,” was her only response. She looked over to Clarke and Jaha himself and smiled like a child at Christmas.

“When Clarke told me about what she wanted to do, I couldn’t say no.” He put out a hand indicating for them to sit down. “Okay, let’s go over all of these flavors.”

They hummed over careful bites on every flavor Lexa had ever heard of, and some she hadn’t. From the rich chocolate macadamia nut to the simple orange sherbet, she was in heaven with every bite.

“You have to try this!” She squealed, scooping a huge helping of the pistachio. Clarke met her halfway across the table and Lexa placed the spoon into the awaiting mouth. Clarke moaned as the sweet and salty taste hit her.

Clarke’s jaw shifted slightly as she let the flavor coat her smooth tongue. “I don’t know, I think mine’s better.” Lexa mimiced Clarke’s previous motion opening her mouth for the filled spoon but instead of placing it in her mouth, Clarke smeared it across her nose. Lexa’s eyes widened in betrayal.

“Girls.” Jaha warned, realizing this would potentially turn into a disaster.

Lexa pointed her spoon in Clarke’s direction as she wiped her nose with a napkin, stating, “I’m not done with you.”  They were able to finish almost all of the samples, a few of them too much to handle.

“Can you guess where we are going next?” Clarke opened the front door to Jaha’s, waving behind at her old friend. “I have an idea.”

They walked three blocks to the bottom of  Bunker’s Hill. It was the steepest hill in the neighborhood and the only place anyone would go to sled in winter. In spring, it became the doctor’s favorite spot as it claimed several bones every season. They placed their shoes at the bottom and raced to the top, the dry grass tickling their feet as they ran.

At the top, they could see the whole town. The school sat off to the west away from the bustling of the small town American city. Each of the shop signs were visible, the only distinguishing characteristic among the streets of brick buildings. Of particular interest was the white painted diner, the only building that differed. It was not only the center of the town, where every road met, but it was also the center of their entire story. A story Lexa never wanted to end.

Clarke sat on the top of the hill, reaching out her hand for Lexa to join. “You ready?”

Lexa plopped down, unsure but undeterred. “On three?” she responded.

They didn’t make it past two before they began rolling on their sides down the hill.

Clarke tucked her arms into her chest, while Lexa held them out over head like a pencil. It didn’t take long before their straight lines became derailed and they started careening into each other. They somehow made it to the bottom, crashing into each other as they stopped the will of gravity.

Vision didn’t return quickly so they blindly reached out for each other. “That was dumb,” Clarke held her head, her temporal lobe taking most of the hits. She finally was able to find Lexa’s chest and laid her head on it, enjoying the soft surface to the hard one she had just been in contact with.

Lexa reached her arm up and put it over the blonde’s back, rubbing familiar circles. It almost felt normal. She waited a few moments until she could feel her limbs again before whispering to the girl, “Again?” There isn’t an answer, instead the girl is on her feet dizzly running up the hill. Lexa stands too, enjoying watching the blurry figure move. She wasn’t sure if it was the perfectly clear sky, the perfectly green grass, or the perfectly smiling girl that called for her from above, but she was sure this was the happiest she had ever been. Every part of her ached but she had never felt more alive.

They hobbled back to the truck, clothes covered in grass stains and drips of ice cream. The only part of them that wasn’t disheveled was their shoes that they had taken off. As they walked, Clarke leaned over and picked a few stray pieces of dandelions out of Lexa’s mane. The early morning wake up was finally catching up with the soldier and she yawned deeply. “Back to base?” She questioned.

“Not just yet.”

They settled into the car again. Lexa put her head on the window, closing her eyes briefly as Clarke pulled out. She drove through the center of the town until they turned onto the road that led to the school. Lexa at least knew where they were going, even if she had no idea what it would entail.

“I thought high schoolers avoided school on Saturdays.” She muttered, eyes still mostly closed.

Clarke parked in the principal’s parking spot, adding an extra layer of danger to what they were doing. “I like to live on the edge.”

They walked toward the navy side door and Clarke pulled out another key from her back pocket. She opened the door into a bland hallway. The walls were white-washed matching the faintly gray linoleum  floors. Even the lockers were a fade shade of taupe number five. She shut the door behind them quietly and pulled her hand down a long hallway.

It didn’t matter how silent they wanted to be, each step echoed through the empty building. Lexa never went to a public high school so the entire atmosphere was foreign to her. There were red and white signs for the varsity basketball team hanging over almost every entry way. Plaques, graduation photos, and pictures of long dead alumni littered the walls, as well. There were still remnants of valentine’s day hearts pasted on lucky lockers.

She was distracted by her surroundings that she didn’t realize Clarke was pulling her in the opposite direction she was heading. Her soft command, as she said, “This way.”

Lexa saw the plaque above the door read _library_. She thought this would be interesting. The room was covered in a thin, navy blue carpet. The book stacks sat to the end of the walls and there were four wooden tables that were spaced out in the middle of the area. Generally, there would be free space for studying, but now they had dozens of open books splayed across them.

“This is definitely different,” Lexa commented. “I don’t remember saying anything about books.” She walked up to the first table, running her fingers over the worn pages.

Clarke’s voice not far from where she was lost in the atmosphere, telling her, “No, but you wanted to see beautiful places.”

Lexa stopped her movements. “How did you know that? I never told you that.”

Clarke pulled the familiar, crumbled paper out of her back pocket and held it out. “You wrote it.” She said confused, assuming Lexa had known she had her list. “That’s what this whole day is…”

Lexa swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Clarke hadn’t just listened to her musings, she must have gotten the list out of the trash and the gone out of her way to put this whole day together. Lexa’s body tensing, unsure how to behave before someone with such kindness. Carefully, and overly quiet, Lexa answers, “You didn’t have to do all of this.” It was foreign territory for the girl who had been raised to believe that her needs, her wants, and even her life was worth less. 

“Lexa.”

The brunette closed her eyes, still completely affected by how her name rolled off of the girl’s tongue. “I needed to do this for you. I can’t let you leave tomorrow feeling like you had to sacrifice your wants for mine...for all of ours,” Clarke answered as she crossed the room and put her hand on Lexa’s warm cheek, turning it towards her, a warm tear running over her fingers. “Let me do this for you.”

With a weak smile, Lexa whispered, “I’m surprised you’re not yelling at me.” She tried to hold the last tears back and muster a smile. 

“For what?”

Clarke didn’t remove  her hand, as Lexa turned to face the younger woman, “For breaking your rules...I’m not making this very fun.”

Clarke didn’t know what came over her but she used her grip on the girl’s cheek to pull her towards her own. She closed her eyes and blindly sought out soft lips that responded instantly. The two sets melting into the smallest touch between them. Only seconds but it might as well have been eternity.

Clarke pulled away using her thumb to wipe the last stray tear from Lexa’s cheek, before moved her hand down her arm until she could grab her hand again, bringing it to her mouth and kissing it as well. 

The two lost in each other as worlds of magic surrounded them. The blonde never breaking the eye contact, just pleading, “Now, can I take you to some beautiful places?”

With a silent nod of consent, for Lexa was incapable of speech, Clarke ushered her to the end of the room and started with pictures of the Australian coast and sunsets over waterfalls. The heavy texts, pulled from shelves. Each book opened to a gorgeous view of natural and man made wonders.

Together within the room, they  traveled around the world. Treking over the Great Wall of China. Climbing the deadly terrain of the Himalayan mountains. Explored deep into the Amazon Jungle. Until Earth was too limited, and they sought out the regions outside of their oxygen bound home to the surface of the moons.

Clarke, the efficient tour guide, made up stories about the things they saw. “And this is where the Queen of England lost her shoe.” She pointed to the pits of Death Valley.

For the uncountable time that day, Lexa noticed herself not paying attention to anything but the girl beside her. The cosmic pull she felt towards her was stronger than gravity. It took every fiber of her being not to reach out and touch the pale skin, just to make sure it was really there.

As they reached the last book, Clarke pulled the paper out of her pocket along with a stray pen on the counter. She put a large mark through one of the sentences. Lexa peered over her rereading all of the things she really never thought she would live to do. And noticed the dreams Clarke had already provided her.

_What I’m Fighting For…_

_~~fishing at sunris~~_ _e_

_~~a private movie~~ _

_~~eating all of the ice cream at Jaha’s~~ _

_~~rolling down hills until something breaks~~ _

_doing something illegal and not getting caught_

_winning a prize at the carnival_

_t ~~raveling to beautiful places~~_

_star gazing_

_dancing at prom_

_kissing in the rain_

_falling in love_

 

Clarke peered down at her watch and rushed them out the door. “We are so late!” She exclaimed. They turned down a few hallways until they came to the basketball gym door. Outside the wooden doors was an impatiently waiting brown haired girl, dressed like a carny with striped pants and an ostentatious whirligig hat. She was tapping her foot, standing in front of a table of used milk jars.

Clarke coughed, causing her to spin around. She winked in Clarke’s direction and cleared her throat, plastering on a broad smile. “Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and play the hardest game this side of the Mason-Dixon Line!” She pretended there was a whole crowd around her and was pointing off in random direction, trying to get ghosts to play.

Lexa stifled a laugh at her antics. Holding up an eager hand that is still somewhat shy, she stated, “I’ll give it a go.” She enjoying playing into the charade, as was handed several metal rings that looked like they were vegetable cans welded together. Clarke cheered her on as she threw the first one completely missing anything.

“We might be here a while,” the carny commented.

“Shut up, Raven,” Clarke growled through gritted teeth. She didn’t need to say it though because Lexa hit the next five rings all on the same bottle, silencing the girl with her skill. “Damn.” Raven looked stunned. She reached below the table and removed a small brown teddy bear whose arms were holding onto a heart.

Lexa took it and handed it over to Clarke. “For you.” She beamed.

“Thank you, although this looks suspiciously like a bear I got for my friend for Valentine’s Day this year.” She glared at Raven who pretended there was something on the ceiling. “If we weren’t behind, I’d kick your ass.” She was mostly joking.

“Sure thing Princess,” Raven laughed, opening the door to their next destination.

The gym was dark except for two rows of twinkling lights at the half court line. There was a line of flowers leading them to a makeshift dance floor that was actually just a large black tarp. Behind the lights, Lexa could make out several figures who were holding instrument shaped objects. On cue, the gym filled with the slow vibrations of an electric guitar and bass drum. “ _Oh yeah, I'll tell you something. I think you'll understand,”_ they sang it slow and the man’s voice was velvety as he hit each note. “ _When I'll say that something. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.”_

Ironically, Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand and walked over to the single chair to the right of the twinkling lights. Lexa didn’t understand what was happening until Clarke sat down and began twirling her hair. She was teasing her.

“ _Oh please, say to me. You'll let me be your man. And please, say to me. You'll let me hold your hand.”_

Clarke wanted Lexa to go over there and ask her to dance like they weren’t almost the only two people in the room. She trudged over to the blonde and put her hands behind her back, pretending that this was the scariest thing she had ever done.

She swayed nervously in front of the girl, Clarke not paying attention, still continuing to twirl her hand. “Excuse me ma’am.” Lexa licked the bottom of her lip, tilting her head forward. “Would you want to dance with me?” She reached out her hand and Clarke eagerly accepted it, hopping up and lacing her arms around the mess of brunette hair.

_“And when I touch you I feel happy Inside.It's such a feeling that my love. I can't hide. I can't hide. I can't hide.”_

They swayed back and forth, Clarke resting comfortably in the crook of Lexa’s neck as the band continued to play. As the song changed to something with a little more life, Lexa spun Clarke out and back in, wrapping her fingers on her waist.

They continued to swing around each twirling until the lights above them started to bleed together and they couldn’t see straight. Thankfully, the guitar slowed again, plucking out individual notes that were familiar to Lexa.

Lexa smiled as she recognized the sweet love song. She moved Clarke in closer again and began to sing in her ear. “Earth angel, earth angel... will you be mine.” She pulled their intertwined hands to her chest while resting her other one on the small of Clarke’s back. “My darling dear, love you all the time.”

The blonde shuddered a little when her soldier used the word _love._ She knew it was a song but she felt the words dance on her skin into her heart.

Moving her head back and placed their foreheads together, still trying to follow the music, Lexa contined to sing,“I’m just a fool, A fool in love with you.”

As she sang her breath ghosting over Clarke’s lips. Just like before, Clarke couldn’t control her own body. She lifted her head up centimeters and captured the last _Iove_ into her mouth. It was like the word spilled into her as she desperately reached up for the base of Lexa’s neck.

Rough hands at her back pulled her closer, as teeth grazed the bottom of her lips. Before she could respond, she felt a cold drip on her head. The single drop turned into a flood of water drenching her hair. Lexa was just as surprised, her instincts kicking in, head careening to find the source of the pouring water. A short Asian boy was grinning as he had his thumb on the end of a garden hose, the water spraying in an arch above the tarp until it landed squarely on them.

“You said turn it on when you kiss.” He defended, realizing he was being glared at.

Lexa’s head was turned towards him, her usually green eyes turning black. Clarke quickly turned Lexa’s face towards her, wet tendrils of hair falling between them. She brushed them aside and kissed her again. It was strange as lips slipped on the water that was still streaming down their faces.

Clarke couldn’t focus though and began laughing into Lexa’s mouth. She pulled away and leaned around towards the hose master, “You can stop-!” Before she got the last word out, her foot slipped in a puddle and she began to fall. Her grip on Lexa wasn’t enough to hold them both up. Instead, both girls tumbled to the crowd in a pile of limbs and garden water. For the countless time that day, Lexa grunted in pain. The grunt turned into laughter though as she rolled around in the water, aimlessly searching for Clarke’s face.

“What was this supposed to be?” She asked.

“No questions!” Clarke moaned, not really sure if she was touching her own arm or Lexa’s. “And kissing in the rain is harder when the sky is clear.” 

Lexa finally scooted around on the floor to where she was propped on her stomach next to Clarke’s splayed body.  “If it means anything... I like this a lot better.” She reached over and pecked Clarke on the lips. Clarke lifted her arm off of her face and leaned up a little, smiling. “At least we don’t smell like grass and fish anymore.”

The water finally stopped hitting them but they didn’t move. The boys behind them continued to jam but it was all ambient noise to the energy flowing between them as they laid on their backs, heads brushing together and fingers dancing together as their bodies had just been.

Clarke held up her free wrist to her face and looked at the time. It was almost six which meant they didn’t have much time to get to the last destination. She reluctantly stood up, pulling Lexa with her. Their clothes were beyond salvageable but she had planned for that.

In the locker room she had a bag of spare clothes ready. They were warmer, two long sleeve pullovers and baggy sleep pants. They both changed quickly, leaving the wet clothes behind. Lexa didn’t even care what they were doing next. Any time she had left, she wanted to be with Clarke.

When they got outside, the sun was starting to run below the horizon. They were barely going to make it. “You ready for the final stop?” Clarke asked across the dash.

Lexa held up two fingers, indicating Clarke’s error. The girl ignored her, taking the hand attached to the fingers and placing them down on the arm rest. She would never get used to how good their hand felt intertwined. It was like a perfect fit, the ridges and crevices melded into each other leaving no room for anything in the world to break them apart. She took the backway out of the school and sped down the road towards the state highway.

Lexa wasn’t sure where they were going as the entire town faded behind her in the rearview mirror. She stared out the window taking in the land that she grew up loving. The flat plains that stretched forever into the distance sprinkled with the lucky tree that fought against the odds to survive.

That tree was her kindred spirit. Until today, she always thought that it was alone. But it wasn’t true. The tree had so much. The earth that cultivated their roots. The wind that gave reprieve in the summer sun. The rain that quenched their thirst. The tree was only as alone as they wanted to be. She tore her eyes from the landscape back to the girl who taught her more about herself in a day than she might have learned in a thousand years in another lifetime. A single day and Clarke had become her earth, wind, and water. And it scared her more than she wanted to admit. She couldn’t think about that in this moment. She didn’t want to waste a single drop of energy worrying about tomorrow when she had the chance to be in love today.

However, She had distracted herself so much that she didn’t realize where they were.

Clarke pulled up to another chain linked fence. They got out, and Lexa looked up at the town’s water tower. The grey monstrosity towered over a flat piece of government property. _Go Titans_ was written in big letters for the only school in town. There was a large _Do Not Enter_ sign on the front post. Clarke reached into the back of the truck and grabbed two blankets and a small bag. “Come on,” and the blonde peeled back a hole in the fence and waited for Lexa to follow.

“Clarke, this is actually illegal.” She looked around making sure this wasn’t a trick.

“I know...that’s the point.”

Lexa swallowed hard before she ran through the fence like if she moved faster it would make it more legal. Standing on the other side didn’t feel any different. She didn’t feel like she was now a second class, rule breaking citizen. She questioned whether or not she should do it again. “That’s it...that’s what it feels like to break the law?”

“Exciting, right.” Clarke said sarcastically. She walked past the confused brunette until she came to a rusty old ladder that led to a platform that ran through the center of the oblong tower.

“We aren’t going up there.”

“But we are…” Clarke already started to climb the first rung. Lexa waited until she was almost to the top before following. By the time she reached the last step, Clarke had a blanket spread out on the thin metal floor and was unpacking sandwiches. She walked tentatively towards her careful of every step she took. She regretfully peaked over the edge and instantly felt a rush of terror; she refused to die like this. Finally reaching her destination, she slid down the wall as far away from the edge as possible. “Scared of heights, soldier?” Clarke quipped.

“Nope...Private Woods is not afraid of anything.” She took a deep breath as a strong wind made the entire structure creak. “Lexa, on the other hands, is currently petrified.”

Clarke scooted closer to her. “We can get down.”

“It’s fine...just come here.” Clarke slid herself across the cold metal between Lexa’s leg, her back resting on her torso. They both had their knees bent, breathing in sync. She leaned in farther causing Lexa to wrap an arm around her left forearm. The wind licked them again as the sun slowly faded away. Clarke tore a piece of peanut butter and jelly off and reached it behind her shoulder. Lexa took it into her mouth, realizing it was the first piece of solid food she had all day.

The crescent moon floated into the sky bringing a world of stars with it. As they continued to nibble on bites of food, Lexa pointed out all of the constellations. She moved her arms animatedly as she tried to explain the fight between Orion and the scorpion. She stopped halfway through the story of Ursa Major when she realized the blonde was practically asleep in her arms.

“Clarke.” She whispered, nudging her shoulder.

“I’m awake.” She mumbled unconvincingly. It took a few pushes but Lexa was able to get them safely off the tower and into the car. She began driving back into town while the girl slept against the window. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going but she didn’t want to bother the sleeping angel until she absolutely had to. At the center of town, she stopped the car and poked Clarke’s back. “Where am I going here?” Blonde rubbed the sleep out of blue eye and took in where they were. The quick nap seemed to bring her back to life.

A few minutes later, they pulled in front of a small gated home. It was quaint and not overly extravagant, the darkness covering the rows of flowers that lined the walkway. She walked her to the front porch and prepared to leave but Clarke stopped her.

“Come inside for a minute?” She requested, blue eyes hopeful. So hopeful that Lexa couldn’t tell her no.  They walked through the front door. It was so normal, like what she would see in a movie. Stairwells lined with family photos, worn couches centered around a television, even an umbrella rack. She looked around waiting for Clarke’s father to be sitting in a chair with a shotgun. Clarke could sense her tension. “They aren’t home.” Clarke took her hand and led her up the carpet lined stairs until they came to a door with a huge “C” painted on it. Lexa took her time moving toward the room, as if it was a sacred journey. When she finally walked through the door frame, she smiled at how “Clarke” it was.

All the things she had learned about the girl seemed to come alive in her personal space. The colors of the walls were vibrant, even in the darkness. Deep blues crashing into purples. There were dozens of paintings scattered on the walls, all seemingly done by the same person. Her eyes scanned over the various pieces of art that added warmth within the small space. Clarke watched her intently, feeling slightly self-conscious. Her insecurity faded away as the brunette moved through revering even the tiniest sketches. Lexa fought the urge to touch the paintings, just as Clarke fought the urge to touch the soldier.

Lexa realized that her lingering was possibly too long. Clarke was clearly still tired, and so the older woman turned to bid her farewell. “Thank you for today.” She began, eyes still focused on anything but he girl. “It really was perfect.”

“Is this you telling me goodbye?” Clarke stood behind her, pulling at her shoulder so they could face each other. Lexa curled her lips, ready to say the things she had to. _You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You will find someone who can give you a life time of perfect days._ All of the words sat at the tip of her tongue ready to free blue eyes from the bond they had forged. Her mouth opened to speak her final peace, but a farewell did not happen due to the press of pink lips over her own. The sweet kiss that gained in momentum as Clarke guided Lexa to the edge of her bed.

With subtle touches, and awkward attempts to unhook button after button, they stood there blushing awkwardly as they took first glances over their unconcealed forms, curves barely visible in the soft glow from the bedside lamp. Gazes returned to soft kisses. Soft kisses added heat to exposed flesh while fingers caressed and edged both women into a new gentle intimacy. An intimacy that fell into the cushioned mattress once the light was switched off, and the women learned to know each other without their eyes-focused instead on the other senses that taught them new lessons of the other’s desires and needs.

Both bodies came to rest with tousled hair, as they lay bare below the sheet. Body heat enough to keep them warm. Their breaths perfectly attuned to one another, until Clarke’s snores were the only sound and Lexa’s subtle twitch of dreams the only movement.

The deep sleep of comfort and contentment ended with the light peeking through the sheer curtain. Cool sheets caused the blonde to shiver and seek out the warmth that had comforted the night prior. The warmth that was absent from the bed, absent from the room. Her eyes opening to take in the loss. Relying once more on her vision to confirm that she was indeed alone.

No sign of her soldier.

She rolled out of bed as quickly as possible, throwing on the nearest pieces of old clothing. Her father’s watch read half past nine which meant she was probably too late. She flew down the stairs and grabbed the truck keys. It took her seven minutes to pull into the base parking lot and she could already see the camo jeeps and cargo truck pulling out.

Not bothering to turn off the car, she jumped out running towards the leaving cars. She waved her arms in the air at anyone who would pay attention to her. “Wait!” They didn’t stop. Her feet took her to the guard post, where she banged on the glass window, startling the napping soldier.

“Have all of the convoys left?” He didn’t seem to pay attention so she slammed her hand on the glass again. “Have they all left?” She repeated. He pulled out a radio and murmured something incomprehensible into it. “The last of them ships out in the next ten minutes they are waiting in their barracks.” That was all she had to hear. She ran past the gate, ignoring the shouting man. If there was a God, there would be a soldier waiting for her.

Trying to remember the way she took before, she careened down the open street until she saw the barracks she had been out a little over twenty four hours before. She burst through the door, startling the men who were busy with card games and smoking. Their faces didn’t concern her. Her eyes only focused on the woman who, even a few yards from her, felt lifetimes away. Lexa felt it too. Clarke marched towards her and roughly grabbed her hand, pulling it towards the far door that could have led to anywhere. They found themselves in a small alcove hidden from peering eyes.

“You left me.” Her words cracked in the same pattern as her heart. She curled her fist and slammed it into Lexa’s amy issued t-shirt. “You left me!” She exclaimed. 

“I’m sorry....” Lexa held her wrists. “...I couldn’t say goodbye...I couldn’t see you like this.”

“So, this is all you were going to leave me with.” She pulled out the barely dried paper and pushed it into the woman’s chest.

“You didn’t even finish it.” She said coldly. Lexa peeled open the paper revealing one sentence left unmarked- _falling in love._

“Yes I did.” She whispered.

“What ar-.”

“I love you.” Lexa wasn’t sure she had ever said those words and meant them like she did now. “I barely know you but I love you more than I can explain.” She waited for Clarke to run away.  For her to not understand how immediate her feelings were.

“I love you, too.” Clarke wrapped her arms around her neck, embracing her until she could feel their hearts beating together. “I love you so much.” In the distance, the bugle sounded indicating they were officially moving out.

“Don’t go.” Blue eyes pleaded. “Please.” She held her tighter, trying her best to memorize how every part of her felt pressed against her.

“I’m glad you came.” Lexa peeled the girl off of her and kissed her fiercely, salt mixing in with the taste that she had discovered was uniquely Clarke. The door opened behind them and a fellow private said there was no more time.

Lexa reached into her back pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. “I thought I was going to mail this to you.” She placed the square in her hand. “Don’t open it yet.” Clarke searched her mind for something to give the soldier to remember her by-anything. She looked down at her shirt and realized it was the one she had been wearing Friday. She quickly reached into the breast pocket and pulled out the fateful penny that had brought them to this moment.

“This is the luckiest penny I’ve ever found.” She placed it in Lexa’s palm. “Bring it back to me.”

“Is that an order?” Lexa smiled as she rolled the copper in her hand.

“Is that a question?” Clarke held up two fingers. “You’re breaking the rules again…” her voice filled with tears that were caught in her heart. Before Lexa could respond, the door opened again. There was no more time.

“Until we meet again.” She promised, kissing the top of her forehead. Clarke couldn’t bear running after her, just to see her walk away again. She sat down on the concrete lip at the door and played with the note in her hand. She heard the loud hum of the convoys and listened as they faded away into the distance, taking with them the love of her life. Sitting alone, with only the wind whispering in her ear, she unfolded the paper. She expected a letter but there were two lines of text scribbled on the white sheet. Every line of Shakespeare together could not have meant as much as the eight words that stared up at her.

_What I’m Fighting For…_

 _-_ _another day with you_

 

_The older woman reached across the table near her and searched into the depths of her purse. She found a small plastic bag and removed it. Natalie hadn’t moved during the entire story. She didn’t even realize she was crying until Clarke offered her a tissue. Now, Clarke handed her a most prized possession. Natalie turned the bag over in her hands looking down at the neat script that was twice as old as she was._

_“You loved her so soon. How?” Clarke shrugged, never really knowing how to explain it._

_“Even before my brain could understand it, my body knew her…loved her. That is one of the only things I have ever been sure of.”_

_“What happened to her?” Clarke stared out to the birds that now seemed disinterested in the day. They prodded about the branches and rested._

_“Six months after her unit landed in Vietnam, they called the entire town into the high school gym.” She closed her eyes, seeing the scene play out on the back of her lids. “It’s one of those moments you never forget. I sat in the second row, closest to the door as they told us that the whole unit from Fort May was attacked and there were no known survivors.” Natalie’s breath caught in her throat. “He began listing their names and I sat there, my heart breaking for every one of them.”_

_“But she promised to come back…” Natalie said in disbelief, tears streaming down her face._

_“It was war. Things changed so quickly that the seasons didn’t even have time to catch up. The harsh reality was that people died.” A cold chill brushed over their skin as a breeze came through the open window._

_“Not everyone.” A strange voice broke in. Natalie quickly stood up, brushing tears out of her face._

_“I’m sorry ma’am you can’t be in here.” She reverted instantly back into a professional. The greying woman ignored her and walked toward the now smiling lady in white._

_“Not everyone.” She repeated, a sly grin playing at the corner of her mouth._

_“I know…” Clarke laughed, hearty and in the depths of her soul “...not you.” Realization swept over the nurse’s face and for some reason her tears increased. “You’re alive?” she blurted out._

_“Colonel Lexa Woods.” Lexa redirected herself to face the stranger in the room, reaching out a hand. Young hands took old tentatively as if she might really be a ghost. “I’ve been overseas for the last two weeks, while my wife was getting into car accidents.” She directed the last part to the woman in the chair who quickly averted her eyes. The girl in front of her still seemed petrified and upset._

_Lexa turned back towards Clarke glaring because she knew why the nurse was in such disarray. “Do you ever finish the story?” She scolded her wife._

_“Do you ever follow the rules?” Clarke shakily held up two fingers._

_“I like the real ending a lot better than when you always seem to stop.” They bantered back and forth until blue scrubs across the room became impatient. “What happened?”  She blurted out, quickly covering her mouth at how rude she sounded._

_“As I said, six months after she left, I thought she was dead…but It wasn’t for another six months, on the day we first met, that the story ends.” Lexa walked over to the brown chair and sat on the edge. She reached down and grabbed Clarke’s hand, rubbing circles over it._

_“I like to think it was our second beginning.”_

March 1, 1966

The cold hadn’t left the town yet and the girl’s walk to work was frigid. Every step was labored and the noises around her made everything worse. She couldn’t breathe in this town without a reminder of what she lost, especially today. The leaves danced around her ankles but she kicked them aside, hopping onto the sidewalk. She unlocked the familiar front door and slipped in. The weekend had already been difficult with the new recruits rolling in and out of the diner, their full laughter eroding at her patience. Today was no different; she expected dozens of the young boys to cat-call and beg her to come to the military ball. As much as they dressed in the army green and saluted the flag, they would never be her soldier.

She tossed her bag on the counter hard and the contents spilt on the floor. Frustrated, she bent down to pick up the remnants of art supplies and calculus. Her hands landed on the square piece of paper that haunted her. She couldn’t prevent her eyes from welling up as she unfolded the page reading it for the thousandth time. One more day is all she wanted, but it was still too much to ask. She stuffed the note in her pocket and threw everything else in the bag. It was going to be one of the hard days, she could already tell. One of the days where she swears she could hear the girl’s laugh in the base of her ear or see her eyes in the glare of the sunlight.

Moving behind the counter she grabbed the coffee pot and started aggressively pouring a single cup of coffee out. She placed it behind her on the counter as she did every morning. It wasn’t a prayer as much as it was a promise to the soldier’s memory. Turning back around, she went to pour her own glass. As the liquid flowed into the ceramic cup, the front door creaked open. It was too early to deal with people and her face was probably red and puffy. She continued to pour the coffee, ignoring the stranger calling out a haphazard, “One second.” She held onto the pot tighter, placing her other hand on the cabinet wall, falling onto it slightly as she tried to assemble herself.

“Excuse me ma’am...” Her body froze, eyes falling closed. “...Is your establishment open?” She didn’t believe the sounds touching her ears. It wasn’t possible. It was another waking dream that had fooled her so many times before. She didn’t move, knowing that the lie would go away eventually.

“Clarke.” Weak hands dropped the pot on the counter, glass and hot liquid shattering. She turned slowly, keeping her eyes low. All she could see were green pants tucked into khaki boots. As her eyes moved up the familiar figure, her body went into auto pilot. She ran around the corner. The ghost dropped their bag, accepting Clarke’s aggressive embrace. She winced in pain as the blonde poked at partially healed wounds.

“Lexa.” It was a breath of a whisper and any thoughts of pain left the brunette as she let the sound of her name in her love’s mouth wash over her. If it was the last thing she ever heard, she would have died happy.

“They said you were dead.” Clarke cried into her shoulder, refusing to let go. “There was a bombing.”

“Shhhhhh.” Lexa ran her hands up her back, running them into blonde hair. Holding Clarke was becoming more difficult her weak arms betraying her. Clarke picked up on the pain that was radiating from her soldier.

“You’re hurt.” She commented, running her hands along her arm, trying to find what was injured.

“You were right, it was a bomb.” She tried to make the words lighter than they were. “Nearly, got me too.” Clarke couldn’t believe it.  As she studied the tired face, she could tell that Lexa’s eyes were a little more sullen and the glow that seemed to always radiate was just a little dimmer. Even the smile that hid at the corner of her mouth seemed fainter. There were white lines across her cheek and forehead, obvious signs of shrapnel damage. Clarke reached her thumb up, running it across a particularly long mark that ran down the back of her ear to the base of her neck.

“You came back to me.”

“I had to...” Lexa reached into her breast pocket pulling out a small object. She held it out, letting the sun shine over its bronze surface. “I promised to give this back to you.” Clarke looked over the battered coin. It had a large dent in the center, obscuring the once stoic president.

“What happened to it?” She felt the rough edges with her finger, not removing it from Lexa’s hand.

“It saved my life…I kept it right here.” She patted her breast pocket. “When we were under fire, the explosion sent shrapnel everywhere…but the ricochet bullet that was meant for my heart never made it.” Clarke noticed the dent in the middle of Lincoln’s head was circular, and had the distinct mark of metal on metal scratches. “At the hospital in Kuwait, they called me the Lucky Girl and the doctor’s would hold this little guy before they operated on anybody.” Clarke closed her eyes tight, unable to focus as a year’s worth of sadness became replaced with relief. 

“Are you really here?” Her biggest fear was that she would open her eyes and she would be lying in her bed again, an empty space at her side. Cold hands grasped her cheeks, pulling her into warm lips that felt like coming home. She reached out clenching her hand around the front material of the fatigues, falling farther into the kiss. “I’m here.” Lexa broke, grabbing at Clarke’s hands and holding them between their breathless bodies.

“I have a confession though…” Clarke looked at her concerned. “…I lied when I gave you that letter.” Her mind went to the folded paper that was peeking out of her back pocket. Lexa licked her bottom lip, wiling the words she had practiced to come out. “I wasn’t fighting for another day with you.” She began, using the blue eyes looking at her expectedly as a life line. 

“I was fighting…” She dipped her head, knowing she wouldn’t be able to take the words back. “…I was fighting for a lifetime with you.” Using their hands as a crutch, her knee hit the ground slowly. She placed the penny between her thumb and pointer finger, holding it up to Clarke.

“Marry me.” It wasn’t a question. At that time, it couldn’t mean more than a promise exchanged between two people but the symbolic nature of the gesture wasn’t lost on Clarke. She stared down at the glimmering coin like it was the most expensive ring a king could find.

“Nothing would make me happier.”

_The tears of despair on Natalie’s face had turned joyful. She couldn’t stop beaming, finally realizing what love was supposed to look like._

_“I’m not sure I was right in what I said…” Clarke mused. “…every moment from that day made me happier. A secret wedding…traveling the world…Two kids...Six grandkids…Countless adventures.” She pulled at a chain around her neck that Natalie had just noticed. Clarke catching her eye, removed it revealing a beautiful silver chain with a small, seemingly worthless coin laced on it._

_“Who would have thought the perfect day would turn into the perfect life?” Lexa said smiling. She leaned over, placing a soft kiss to the fluff of white hair._

_“Private…”Clarke warned, jokingly using her former rank. “No questions.”_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Clexa love week, I decided to do a little epilogue to this story. Just a quick shot of their love. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is also for my girlfriend who isn't feeling well right now.

The sun was low while purple and pink clouds fought for purchase across the fall sky. It was a perfect day. In the small valley, a group of people were gathered for a celebration of love in a world that had recently seen so much hate. The creatures that called the area home were not informed of the event as they danced across the field and between trees. A few birds had made a resting place out of the make shift arch that sat in the middle of a small clearing.

Under the arch, Lexa stood stoically. Her clothes were pressed neatly and contrasted against the bright grass that swayed back and forth at her feet. The sun illuminated her face revealing a mosaic of war and peace. She stood on a makeshift platform, facing out towards the horizon. It felt like an eternity since she had walked to this spot and was told to wait. She turned around as a guitar played softly over the wind. Her firm brow and pursed lips quickly faded when a blonde vision in white began to walk towards her.

The lace dress had jewels sewn into the material that shone in the light, making her look angelic. With each step she took, the dark haired woman got more anxious. She desperately wanted to step closer or reach out and take the woman to her. She waited, though, until the angel stood directly in front of her with a smile that shone brighter than any crystal on the dress.

“Hi,” Clarke whispered nervously.

“Hi.” They smiled at each other until the man in front of them cleared his throat. His outfit mirrored Lexa’s with a few more bars above the _Woods_ name plate. He reached under his arm and pulled out a small military bible. As his arm moved across, the familiar scent of brute after shave flooded their immediate space, causing both girls to share a secret smile.

“We are gathered here today for the same reason people have been gathering for thousands of years,” he began. “To join two people together as one in the sight of God and family.” There were only twelve people seated in old lawn chairs but they were enough for either woman.

“There’s this passage here that pretty much gets read at every wedding I’ve ever been to.” He flipped open to a place he marked. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” He paused, and wrinkled the pages under his hands. “Love never fails…nothing else needs to be said here. You two embody every part of love and because of that you will never fail.”

Lexa couldn’t help herself from reaching over and kissing her father on the cheek. “You’re supposed to be saving that for your bride,” he chided.  

“Before we go through the traditional _in sickness and health_ vows, Clarke and Lexa wanted to say something.” He nodded to Clarke and reached into his side pocket revealing a small piece of paper. He handed it over and carefully unfolded it.

“Lexa,” she said her name in a way that no one else did. “In every way I pictured my life, I never for saw this. You came out of nowhere yet from the moment I met you, it felt like I had always known you…Like my heart and my soul had been waiting for you.” Her eyes floated between the black words on the paper to the green eyes in front of her.

“Now, I can’t imagine any future where you don’t exist. I want you forever. On the day you left me for the first time, you gave me this piece of paper. You said that you were fighting for one more day with me... but that’s not enough. I want every day with you. However many days there are left between us, I want them all. I love you.”

She folded the paper back and Titus returned it to his jacket. He turned to Lexa who was overwhelmed by the words spoken just for her. She reached out and pulled Clarke’s hands into her own.  

“Clarke,” she said her name slowly, reverently. The vows she had prepared floated around in her head aimlessly. She begged them to stay still so she didn’t make a fool out of herself. Nervous and knowing everyone was watching her, she looked into Clarke’s eyes and breathed slowly. The blue harbor spoke to her in their secret language, telling her it was going to be fine. This was day was for them. This moment was for them.  

Clarke squeezed her hands and Lexa felt a jolt through her whole body. The first words danced across her mind and with them she could see in her head a younger version of the blonde standing across a worn linoleum counter pouring coffee and smiling like the first light of day.  The image made Lexa smile brightly and she knew exactly what to say.

“It took me a moment to know that I wanted you.”

Again, she could see flashes of the blonde. Pulling her through the abandoned streets of the barracks, shrouded in darkness. Laying in the grass with hints of chocolate at the corner of cherry lips. Swaying under twinkling lights as water fell on their heads. Breathless, curled into her side.

“It took me a day to know that I loved you.”

She paused, her eyes falling to watch the movement of her thumbs over the tops of Clarke’s hands. Her voice caught in her throat as she resisted the next images that shot through her mind. She swallowed back the iron taste they put in her mouth and looked up again into her safe harbor.

“…and it took me a year to come back to you.”

As much as the words were affecting Lexa, they were affecting Clarke more. She took one of her hands and wiped the stray tear that started to fall. Instead of taking Lexa’s hand back, she cupped the back of the brunette’s neck, gently rubbing her thumb at the base.

“I love you so much and if I have any say in it, it will take me forever to be separated from you again. Stories like ours don’t happen by accident. This was always meant to be…in ever time line, in every universe, in every way that our souls exist, we end up here.”

She looked back to Titus, indicating she was finished. For a man who never lost his composure, he was struggling to form words. He finally managed to pull together the traditional vows. He pulled out two things from his pocket, one traditional, one rather unique. He handed Clarke a small golden band. At the end of her vows, she pushed the band on to Lexa’s shaking hand.

Titus took the next item and placed it in Lexa’s hand. It was a beautiful gold chain with a seemingly worthless penny laced onto it. Lexa rolled it over in her hand, not quite believing how something so small could be so important. She repeated her own vows and placed the necklace around Clarke’s neck. It laid perfectly over her heart.

The sun began to fall behind the hills and the small space was now illuminated more by the torches and candle light. As the last light peaked through the tallest rows of trees, Titus spoke the words they had been longing to here, “I now pronounce you wife and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”

Lexa took the lead, moving both hands behind Clarke’s neck and bringing her up the few inches to her lips. They kissed for a few heated moments before pulling away and facing the small crowd. Clarke grabbed her hand and they raised it in the air. Everyone began clapping and wiping the final bits of stray tears. Bellamy started playing another tune while they began to walk down the make-shift isle. Lexa grabbed Clarke by the waist and pulled her up into a true bridal carry. The weakness in her arm had faded and she was able to make it the few paces to the end.

“Well, Mrs. Woods, what now?” Clarke asked, her arms wrapped around Lexa’s next.

“Well, Mrs. Woods…” Lexa mimed back. “…I think it is time for a party.” She was right. As soon as she set Clarke down, everyone else had already shifted into the reception. Mr. Griffin undid the back of his pick-up truck, revealing a whole spread of food and alcohol. The boys from school grabbed their other instruments and began playing lively music. There weren’t many people there but it was full of laughter and love.

After they had their share of drinks, Bellamy began to play a familiar tune. Lexa set her champagne glass down and grabbed Clarke from a conversation with her friends. “Sorry ladies,” she shouted behind her. She pulled Clarke along until they were at the center of the circle of lit lanterns. She wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her as close as possible. Clarke laid her head down on Lexa’s shoulders and they began to sway along.

Just like a distant memory, Lexa began to sing, “Earth angel, earth angel will you be mine…” she continued to sing each line, occasionally spinning Clarke out and back in. As the song came to end, they put their foreheads together, continuing to slowly sway.

“I love you,” Clarke whispered.

“I love you, too.”

“Promise?” Her question was so soft, Lexa almost missed it.

She reached down and fiddled with the penny that hung between them, their copper promise. “Always,” she said.


End file.
